The Last Word
by Nug Feathers
Summary: Adam Shepard's last moments on the Citadel. MShep/Kaidan


During his years with the Alliance he'd been shot, stabbed, electrocuted, biotically pushed, pulled, and flattened, poisoned, beaten, and even set on fire, but Shepard had never felt anything like this. His entire body, from the top of his skull to the tips of his toes, was a blazing inferno of pain. Even the mundane act of blinking his one undamaged eye was painful. The man brought up his omni-tool, illuminating the darkness in a bright orange glow. He was surrounded on all sides by wreckage, but couldn't make out what—if anything—was above him… trapped in an air pocket maybe. He was reclined against what felt like a large slab of concrete and his legs were pinned beneath a large beam. There was a loud rumble as the ground beneath him shook. Dust and small bits of debris rained down on his head. He could feel his heart pounding against his ribcage.

Shepard forced himself to relax, his chest slowly rising and falling. He worked his gauntlets off and probed his body for wounds. He found one, deep, in his torso. It felt like he was sticking his fingers into raw hamburger. Nausea swept over him and he rested his arms at his sides again. Other than his side and his eye, he didn't think he had any other open wounds. Everything else was bruises and broken bones and likely some internal bleeding. He had one shot of megi-gel left, but it didn't help much when he used it. Perhaps his big toe felt a _tiny _bit better…

More dust rained down from above. Shepard coughed and something caught in his throat, he was choking. His arms flailed as a spasm of pain rocked his body, and with an excruciating, retching cough he vomited up something spongy and red. At this point he wouldn't be surprised if he'd subverted science and coughed up an internal organ.

"Bob…" He croaked.

A ball of blue and silver light appeared before him. Bob was Shepard's combat drone, but during his six month "vacation" on Earth he'd modified it so it was also a VI assistant of sorts.

"Yes, Shepard," Bob said in its soothing monotone voice.

"I don't think… I'm going to make it this time, Bob."

"That is unfortunate, Shepard."

Shepard chuckled, but promptly stopped. Laughing hurt. "I want to… I want to record a message for Kaidan."

"Acknowledged."

"R-record…"

Bob began pulsing softly, "Recording, Shepard."

"Kai—" a sudden, brilliant flare of pain radiated from the wound in his side. His vision swam; dark shadows began creeping in from the corner of his eyes. Shepard fought unconsciousness, but the pain overwhelmed him. He slipped into sweet, painless nothingness, blood seeping from between his lips.

When Shepard awoke once again, Bob was still pulsating faintly, still recording. His legs had gone numb during his little nap, but the wound in his side was still a shrieking, blaring pain. He felt weak, light-headed.

"Bob, end recording…" he rasped.

"Recording ended, Shepard. Message length: three hours, twelve minutes, six seconds."

There was a loud dry snap and the ground quaked as something heavy came down very close to where Shepard lay. A hunk of metal the size of an apple tumbled out of the darkness above, striking Shepard in the face.

"Goddamn it—fuck!" Shepard cried. Blood spurted from the ruined remains of his nose.

There was more quaking and the sounds of things raining down from above. Dust billowed up in the air pocket and the man began to cough, agony tore through his body. Spots of light flashed before his eyes.

Shepard gasped desperately for air as the dust finally began to settle. He brought up a mouthful of gritty mucus and blood that he just let dribble down his front. He didn't have the strength to spit. Bob made no comment, just floated there glowing faintly- Shepard's only company in this desolate tomb.

Chest and throat burning, nose throbbing and stinging, Shepard lay back, lifting one trembling hand to wipe his mouth. The rest of his body was slowly going numb, from the bottom up. He was cold. Was this what death felt like…?

His gaze found Bob and he thought of the message he'd wanted to relay to Kaidan. From the moment they met, he had felt a little spark of attraction. The intensity in those deep brown eyes, the way the corner of Kaidan's mouth quirked when he smiled, had drawn Shepard right in. But he'd resisted, putting all that aside, hoping that maybe… after they'd dealt with Saren. But, of course, things never really worked out the way you hoped. He'd been taken out of the game for two years and Kaidan moved on with his life… and Cerberus had driven a massive wedge between them. Shepard hadn't known what to say to Kaidan, to make him see that he hadn't changed, to make it right. So, once again, he'd put his feelings aside and focused on the mission.

And then, the end of days was on their doorstep. He knew it was coming, one of the few, but despite that it seemed it hadn't sunk in. Everything he'd set aside, everything he missed, what he would lose, didn't truly hit home until he witnessed a Reaper wipe out a huge section of Vancouver—fifteen or twenty blocks—with a single attack.

He'd been fumbling for the right words when Kaidan beat him to the punch. It was all he could to do to mumble an assent, returning the man's shy smile, reaching across the tabletop to lightly brush his fingers against Kaidan's.

He had thought of confessing this to Kaidan before, revealing just how long his heart had belonged to the other man, but now… would knowing be a comfort to Kaidan? Or a torment, nothing but a reminder of the time that was lost, a reminder of things that could've been?

The feeling of icy cold fingers was creeping up through his belly and into his chest. A grey haze hung at the edges of Shepard's vision.

He sighed and closed his eye, strength waning fast, "…Bob. Record."

"Recording, Shepard."

"…Don't be sad, Kaidan. Okay, well, be a little bit sad," he laughed softly, lips pulling back in a grimace of pain as he did so. "Don't—" A fit of coughing interrupted him, Shepard pinched his lips tightly together, trying to stifle the sound. "But don't… stay sad. Be happy again. Laugh, smile, and have a beer or two while overlooking English Bay." His fingers felt nerveless, his arms were numb. The coldness was spreading up into his throat now. "It's… it's always been you, Kaidan. I love you. Goodbye."


End file.
